Which is better? Social engagement or life simplicity?

Jeanne Erikson Uncategorized Leave a Comment

When you are socially engaged you have frequent activity with family and community groups. Research shows this lifestyle significantly extends your healthy and happy years. The Stanford Center on Longevity, however, has released a worrisome finding about those between age 55 and 64. Their project survey found that the members in this age group are less socially-engaged than their parents. Adults in this age group are less likely to participate in religious or community organizations, less likely to be married, less likely to know their neighbors, and sadly, less likely to have positive interactions with their spouse/partner, and children. You can learn more at sightlinesproject@standford.edu. What does this mean for the future of this huge slice of the population?
The Boomers, whom I will expand to define as those between 50 and 68, are the first generation to grow up in small sibling units with TV as a constant companion, and who often moved away from family, and have been divorced. Social isolation tends to shorten life and is highly associated with chronic health conditions like heart disease and diabetes, as well as depression and anxiety. Seems simple, then, that Boomers should be socially connected and active.
But wait a minute; don’t sign up for three more community Board of Director positions yet. We need to think about how this finding fits with the known benefits of living more simply. That principle promotes a life filled with fewer possessions, simpler and healthier eating, less focused on negative news, and having more time for rest and meditation or prayer. Simplicity has also been shown to lead to longer and healthier life and more happiness!
If both are good, can Boomers combine simplicity and also be socially engaged to reap the benefits of both? Or is that combination an oxymoron? I think we can do both, IF our choices are carefully intentional. We can select to add to a calm and simplicity-based lifestyle specific socializing carefully chosen to match our personal values. That match prevents emotional conflicts and resentments, and is part of living “on [life] purpose”, also shown to enhance a sense of well-being.
Here are some ways it could work: If you are passionate about social causes, you could choose one organization to support and get involved. If you are focused on your faith, you could become involved in a church committee. If you love both social causes and faith, you could help your church feed the poor. If you have family as the most prominent value, you could decide to go to a whole season of a grandchild’s sports, babysit your grandchildren at a pace that fits with your energy, or you could help your adult children with home projects.
Do you see the path? Our activities have to be very clearly targeted to prevent complexity and the sense of overwhelm, as complexity and stress reverse the positive effects of social engagement. You likely know someone who is always exhausted and stressed by their daily committee or political or family obligations. Being intentional and clear means you likely will need to say no, and more than once.
We may actually be able to fulfill that old Boomer dream to “have it all” when we learn the art of being “simply engaged”.

Warmly,

Jeanne Erikson, PhD, PCC, BCC
Jeanne@ CollaborativeLifeCoaching.com

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